Pickles

I’ve Been Thinking…
about pickles.

I don’t know what happened today while I was building my Instacart order. At some point, apparently, I said “yes” to two different jars of pickles. One kosher. One… whatever the opposite of kosher is. Regular-ass pickles? Secular pickles?

When they showed up at my door, I had this moment of, “Why on earth did I buy TWO jars of pickles?” And then I remembered: I have never actually tasted them side by side, and for the life of me I could not tell you the difference in their flavor.

So I posted my little pickle-crisis on Snapchat for a few friends… and suddenly EVERYONE I know is either a certified Pickle Sommelier explaining brine profiles, or they’re just as confused as I am and want to know the results like it’s a scientific breakthrough.

One friend asked, “Why didn’t you just Google it?”

And listen…
I can Google a lot of things.
But I cannot taste Google.

So here I am, standing in my kitchen like a Pickle Scientist, doing blind taste tests I never planned on, all because my brain decided to shop on Expert Mode today.